Things come suitable to their time.
~Enid Bagnold
It’s probably true that Dominick and I made some pretty old-fashioned decisions when it came to parenting. For example, when the kids were young, they churned our butter and did their homework by candlelight…No, wait, that was last night’s episode of Little House on The Prairie. No, we chose to not have a television. That’s right. No TV. To this day we think it’s one of the best decisions we made. Of course, some have argued that during their elementary years, our kids missed out on up-to-the-minute pop culture stuff, and yes, most of the time it was our kids making the argument, to which we replied, “We’ll get there…” We were hopeful that the time we spent together as a family, the time they spent discovering their artistic abilities, and their favorite authors, the time they spent building special relationships with each other and their friends would surely be worth the sacrifice…
When the kids were very little we lived on a new street without neighbors for about two years. Trees and ponds and tadpoles and space surrounded us. In that time our kids developed a love affair with nature. They hiked, swung on vines, dug holes, made mud pies and tended to the tadpoles as if they were their children – they even fed them ham…which in hindsight was probably not the best idea – poor little tadpoles!
The point for us was that we wanted our kids to have a childhood that resembled a childhood…not a mini adulthood. We took seriously the fact that they are only young once, so with that, we slowed the paces and got to enjoy a second childhood – only this time through the eyes of our children.
We believed that for our kids to be optimally prepared for adulthood they should move through the developmental phases in their right time. If they skipped one, they might miss the chance to build in and build on the internal mechanisms necessary to meet the challenges of adulthood. I mean…what’s the hurry? I know – sometimes that counselor hat cannot help but find its way to my head…
Of course, it goes without saying that our kids were still exposed to the influences of pop culture. You can’t be in a school or on a bus or at the mall or on the street or at a friend’s…you get the picture…and not be exposed. (Yes, I learned that lesson the hard way – thank you, Spice Girls, for keeping me real!!) And, you know, really, that was fine because (a) we are, after all, always living in the time of pop culture, and (b) it came in bite-sized offerings. We could see it, discuss it, and help them learn from it organically, as a natural result of living in the world. That approach worked for us.
Eventually we got a TV, but without cable, which was great because we got to know Arthur, Clifford, and Wishbone very well! I still have a soft spot for Arthur and PBS for that matter…and when TelAuc is on, forget about it!
Then, yes, we got cable…everything in moderation and all in good time (unless we’re talking about Kettle Chips, but I digress…) I am happy to report that Modern Family and Barefoot Contessa are part of our ordinary conversations.
I guess, at the end of the day, I am making a case for being intentional…for parenting with purpose. Our objectives may or may not mirror each other, that’s not even the issue, but to be attentive to the job of parenting will most certainly put our kids and our world at a great advantage.
You know what they say, plan your work and work your plan.
The plan will evolve over time, like we do, like our kids do, like life does…you know, we learn as we go…
And when we know better, we do better! (Thank you, Maya Angelou!)
One of the recipes that our kids enjoyed very much while growing up, a dish that radiates “a little old-fashioned” to me, is Rice Pudding. The kids’ grandma, “Sito”, used to make this for them all the time and they loved it!
This classic, creamy rice pudding recipe conjures up images of nursery rhymes and hopscotch, jump rope and marbles.
- 2½ cups whole milk
- ⅓ cup uncooked short grain white rice
- Pinch of salt
- 1 egg
- ¼ cup dark brown sugar
- 1 tsp. vanilla extract
- ½ tsp. cinnamon
- ½ cup raisins
- In a medium-sized, heavy bottomed saucepan, bring the milk, rice and salt to a boil over high heat.
- Reduce heat to low and simmer until the rice is tender (about 25-30 minutes).
- Stir frequently to prevent the rice from sticking to the bottom of the pan.
- In a small bowl, whisk together egg and brown sugar until well mixed. Add a half cup of the hot rice mixture to the egg mixture, a tablespoon at a time, vigorously whisking to incorporate.
- Add egg mixture back into the saucepan of rice and milk and stir, on low heat, for 5 to 10 minutes, until thickened, or about 160 degrees F.
- Be careful not to have the mixture come to a boil at this point or it will curdle.
- Stir in vanilla.
- Remove from heat and stir in the raisins and cinnamon.
- Serve warm or cold.
Most rice puddings are snowy white and quietly delicious…we’re going to turn the warmth up just a little bit…
We’re using a little brown sugar, cinnamon and some raisins here. Whenever I’m in a position to add these ingredients to a dish – I do – and I sleep better.
So there you have it…
Happy eating, my friends, and happy parenting!
Ciao!
Lyssa says
I started tearing up while reading this, your words are very inspiring… and i was just looking for a rice pudding recipe 🙂
Annie says
Hi Lyssa,
Thank you so much… that means a lot to me.
Have a lovely day,
Annie
Dominick says
The best decision I ever made was YOU….the kids were just a natural progression from there! As the song goes “nobody does it better”!!! THANK YOU for giving your heart, soul and mind to our children!
Love you, Dominick
Annie says
Oh man…THANK YOU, Dominick! Thank you…I don’t know what else to say. Love you!
Connie Crews says
Sweet sweet sweet…and the pudding looks good too:) Love the picture of the kids…so little…it hurts sort of…a lot….love you!
Annie says
Spoken like a true Auntie! Oh yes, it hurts…this is likely one of the first of many posts to fall under, I am having an empty nest moment so thank you for joining me in my reflection…Love you!